The Fear of Being Alone

11 December 2011
11 December 2011, Comments Comments Off on The Fear of Being Alone

“So don’t say that word..Not the one we both heard too much..You may think you do but you don’t..It’s just the fear of being alone..” These are the lyrics of the famous song “The fear of being alone” by Reba McEntire and you may just find that it rings a chord with you now.

The term “being alone” may be interpreted differently to different people. It is very important to analyze and gauge as to what is it that encompasses your fears and how much this fear has control over you and your behavior. For example, I have the fear of being left alone creeping in if the person I need near me is not in close physical proximity. It’s because of the assault on me while my cousin went back to the parking lot to collect something. So, I would consider this fear of being alone has a social element to the fear. This sort of fear is related to personal violence and would focus on probably one specific type of person and hence the longing or requirement to have another person in close proximity arises.

"fear of being alone"However, it could also be translated as being deserted by a loved one as the song suggests. My very close friend constantly doubts and reconfirms with her present partner about outings or appointments or out of town work plans because her previous relationship saw her fiancé suddenly getting cold feet and calling off the wedding. So, with that at the back of her mind she continued to live in the fear of being alone, which, in this case meant fear of losing the loved one from your life.

Research shows time and again that very often one of the main reasons that women as well as men get into relationships and want to stay in a relationship arises from the fear of being alone. We all know that when a relationship is based on fear, it is unhealthy for the mind as well as the body and ends up being an unfulfilling relationship. Until and unless a person can learn to enjoy his or her own company, they may constantly find themselves in relationships that are based on phobias or fear and which causes it to end.

Instead of living in the fear of being alone look at it as healthy, positive, fun experience. It’s up to the individual to make a conscious choice of being alone every day and help in healing themselves.

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